Rides and Reinforcement

Well, as some of you may already know, I've conquered another Great Victorian Bike Ride! This years Ride was from Portland to Geelong, 550 km of headwinds, hills and sore hindquarters. You can check out the ride route for the 2009 and 2010 Rides, for those who are keen or stupid enough to spend 9 days in close proximity to Lycra-bunnies. Apparently next years ride, isn't going to be hilly until the end, so, please, consider it! It'll be good to have some more company.

This years ride was as interesting as it was gruelling. If you can imagine, day 5: Headwinds, 100 km, and two big ass hills! If you can find the height of the route on the Bicycle Victoria website, tell me, and I'll post it here to show the rest of you what I voluntarily put myself though.
This years Ride was better than a lot of the others I've been on, as the school group I rode with, Parkdale Secondary College, with a few Our Lady of the Sacred Heart girls tagging along, was easy to put up with, even with some creepy kids that I enjoyed confusing the hell out of. It meant my old maths teacher, Wayne Youngs, didn't have to freak out about children running rampant across Victoria and there was no need to go out of our way to look after them. I'd done a similar rout about 5 years previous, so I knew what to expect.
The thing that I like about the ride, though, is the people you meet. Sure, I've got friends my own age on the ride, but you can do the ride alone and still enjoy yourself, as everyone talks to everyone else! I had a chat to some volunteers as they were serving dinner, an octogenarian who shares many of the same views on society as I do (that "common sense isn't so common" any more, and people take everything, especially technology and creature comforts, for granted these days, complaining about problems and insignificant issues.) This lady, I didn't even catch her name, reinforced my view that "it's not how you run the race, it's how you cross the line". Or, in other words, it's not the problems that make the individual, but the way they handle their misfortune and struggles that proves who they are.
I'd like to send thanks to that old lady, known by her morning riding habits and to her husband as 'the road inspector', for letting me know my head is in the right place, even if it's two generations too late.

More on reinforcement, I was talking to my new-found friend, who shall be known as C until I know they're comfortable with me penning the things we've said, about something that was reinforced recently.
When I was describing a girl I know as 'fun, loving, childish (in a good way!), comforting, accepting and all around crazy, but capable of being sensitive and sensible at the same time!' and telling C about all the little things she does, and C said "she must be the one. You know. The one". Now, I'm still not sure if C was taking the piss, as I don't think I understand C's sense of humour just yet, but it got me thinking. What if...? I haven't actually felt this way about a girl in a long time, if ever.
Should I be selfish, or selfless? Do I go all out and grab a chance, even if I know I may not be able to support what I want to give, and jeopardise the relationship? Or, do I let it run its own course, letting her decide if things are ready?
Hmm, what to do? What to do?

I'm looking forward to a trip to Bendigo with Caitryn, Matt and Ms. Clovelle! We'll be on our way to find one of the last Pizza Hut restaurants in Victoria! It's pretty much the Holy Grail of Childhood!
There's so much stuff that needs to be done to hold onto what remains of childhood, and I'm glad I can share this with other people.

On the other side of things, it's time for Allicia's Allocation!
Sam Kivell is in the news again, in The Independent. According to the paper, Sam is being looked at for the "Australian [sailing] team for the 2012 Olympics when he competes in the 470 class at the ISAF Sailing World Cup". Holy shit! I knew he was good, but not that good! Hit the hyper-link to check out the article.
Kate gets back from South America on Thursday, and we're doing a mad rush to get her room sanded, painted, re-postered and re-furnitured before she gets back. She's had fun over there, but she'd had a lot of trouble with return flights and so she's coming home early. I didn't even get a chance to decide whether I liked Kate being out of the house for so long!
Do you remember Zap and Renee's kids, Jack and Emily? If you do, Jack's been having a bit of trouble juggling his new diabetes problem and his study, but he managed to pass his course for this year! Everyone's excited for him, but Emily got high distictions for the same course! Excitement all 'round!

Anyway, it's 2:10 a.m. and I've gotta be up and about bright and early. In my next blog, look out for lists of favourite things, childhood memories and possibly more relationship stuff. Oh, and a list of people I need to catch up with!
Be safe, kiddies.
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If only procrastination were an art.

I'm wasting time, avoiding study for my psychology exam and I did actually have something to say, but it seems to be pushed out of my head psychological terms of memory and development. Golly gee, I dislike exams.
Oh, wait, I remember now.

I had a good night last night, a party for Rachel's 18th birthday. It was an enjoyable affair, lots of bourbon, good friends and music that doesn't really fit my taste (though I was impressed with "We Go Together" from the Grease soundtrack), and the only problem was I only had about an hour of sleep before I had to be up again. Oh, and the lack of tequila shots!

My much needed beauty sleep was interrupted because I accompanied my sister to the airport at 4 o'clock in the morning because she's travelling around South America for two months with a friend.
I'm going to enjoy being able to watch what I want on T.V. for once, not having to be so quiet in the mornings and being able to come home to a house without arguments imminent. That said, no matter how good two months Kate-free seems, I'm worried about her. I hope Mitch'll keep her in line while they're over there.

What I actually wanted to talk about was the way she treated me when I tried to say good-bye. Instead of a hug I got squawky remarks of "you smell like alcohol" (expected) and "you're hurting me!" Now, I woulda thought that if your little brother drags his ass out of bed with a beautiful woman to see you off, you'd treat him a little better.
All I wanted to do is say good-bye, be safe and have fun, but instead I got snobbed off. The joys of family.
No matter what, she's my sister, and, despite she's quite unappreciative of that fact, I'd still like to treat her like a normal sister. Warts and all, she's the only one I've got.

Now, for Allicia's Allocation!
Not much has been going on down here besides work and frantic study for exams. I'm thinking of following in your footsteps and finding work on a resort somewhere if next semesters classes are as unstimulating as they are now.
My folks and I are heading up to Sydney for Christmas, though I'll be back in time for New Years. I was really hoping I'd be able to get to spend this New Years with you, but, hey, there's always next year, right?
My boss and I are still giggling about Kristy's antics at work, but they're too long winded to write down now. All I can do, is be really helpful and a good workmate, just a shit of a friend and watch her squirm! Delightful!
Not much is happening with your parents, according to mums reports from the monthly Girls Night Out. I hope you're having fun and causing a hell's worth of mischief!

Anyway, I'll post things later on if I get some kind of inspiration, but right now, I've gotta go to work.
Bon Voyage, sis.

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UP and Appreciated

Well, I was super cool the other week and went to see a movie with my folks and my big sister. I drove, and it was funny to see, every time I looked in the rear vision mirror, the terrified look on my mothers face. We decided to be really mature and see 'UP' and it's yet another reason that I like Pixar movies better than Disney.

When I watch a movie, it's great if there's a lot of gore and action, or it makes you think about the posibilities of science fiction, but some of the most satisfying films I've ever watched are those that make you appreciate what you have.
I've discussed this with Leonardo, and possibly one or two others, so I'll say it again because I think people should appreciate this.
Movies like X-men are good, as they encourage the imagination and inspiration, but they always left me thinking that I need something more to feel happy or worthwhile in the grand scheme of things. Having the extra mutant power, in this case, or just having something that makes you unique, or, more often than not, just something that no one else has to make your life special in a mediocre society. It reeks of a capitalist mentality in which possessions automatically equate to some kind of increase of social standing or create some feeling of self worth.
Sure, the mutants were ostracised from the broader community, but they were revered by their own and the audience as the heroes that are just that because of their special abilities. It's like they are placed on that just out of reach pedestal because they possess something no one else does.

But movies like UP are different. Completely different. The stories may also inspire the imagination with the fanciful story that is being told but, for me, it projected a completely different vibe.
I let myself be swept up in the animated story, thanks to my imagination that has not quelled since my childhood, in which a man keeps a promise to a friend and lover and grows from the experience, learning more about himself and those around him.
It just made me appreciate everything I have, and it made me feel content.
While movies like X-men made me wish for more, UP made me far more appreciative of what is around me now. That is an incredible feeling, and one that I have not experienced in a while.

Being able to appreciate those around you, revel in their presence and take in what they have to offer and teach is a beautiful thing, and in my Brutal Honesty month of November I hope to reach more of it.
I can't actually communicate the specific feeling to you, my reader, as I'm writing in retrospect, but I hope I can help you experience it first hand.

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Stalker Update

Well, it's been pretty quiet with L and S lately, due to the fact that I don't have any classes with the former and only one with the latter. All is well, but I get the occasional message from L saying: "Hey, it's L. I hope you're doing alright."
No reply is ever sent, and she still hasn't got the message.
(Oh, did you see what I did there? It was a play on words! Oh, genius!)
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The price of something better?

I’m writing this on the train platform and hopefully I’ll get a seat on the train so I can continue to write all the way home (which I did, victory!), because I think it’s just what I need right now, besides someone that can provide me with at least one of the things I’m going to write below.

So, what’s the gist of tonight’s entry? Well, it’s getting far too frustrating. Nothing in particular, just everything. Uni is no longer stimulating, work is good only for the people but not the job I have to perform, I need things from people but I don’t think I’m overly ready for what people want from me.

Let’s take this apart, one by one, shall we?

Uni just seems like something that is there to take up the first half of the week, but not for me to actually learn things. The classes this semester are just not engaging in the slightest!

Statistics and Research Methods is absolutely horrible, in both what it covers and the time at which it is held! Everyone who’s talked to me about any kind of education level knows these things: I drank through most of my high school (and some of the uni) years, I learn by talking about the subject with people and I don’t understand mathematics like everyone else seems to. I have to have it explained to me as if I’m an absolute numbskull for it to sink in, rather than the “that’s the formula: use it” method. Maths just doesn’t interest me in the slightest because there’s no room for error, it’s all either right or wrong, no time for personal interpretation or opinion. The class is also at 6:30 p.m. on a Monday evening, after I’ve been at uni since 8:30 a.m. for 3 hours before that, so all I want to do is go back to sleep, not concentrate intently for another two hours.

Psychology doesn’t seem all that interesting at the moment, as none of it really relates to what I really want to do for a career, so it all goes through one ear and straight out the other. It seems that all of the things that get me excited are non-examinable and, more often than not, off topic.

eSociety is also horrible, but I don’t have to go to next weeks lecture (thank god!) partly because I don’t find the specific topics they talk about particularly thrilling, and also the time is horrible for a two hour lecture, at 8:30 a.m.

Sociology seems to be the only thing that offers glimmers of incitement and fervour from within that head of mine which has been slowly accumulating dust and cobwebs. That’s because of the friends I have in that set of lectures and tutorials and the fact that people are trying to understand the way large groups of people interact and work or fight together and even the impact broad issues and norms have on the individual. But those sparks of motivation and mental awakening are far less often than I would prefer.

All in all, I’m hanging out for the holidays and ultimately some of the classes I get to take next semester, specifically the sociological ones, because I have no motivation to learn about the stuff they’re forcing into my brain at the moment! For crying out loud, I cannot see many positives in my education at the moment which frustrates me more and more each day. Needless to say, I’m more than glad that the holidays are coming up in a few weeks, then it’s all work and free time for me, and my brain can go into hibernation for a few months. Maybe it’ll give me an opportunity to start a few of those projects I’ve been going on about? Also, I’ll be going into and out of hospital for the men in white coats to fix my hand, and apparently I’ll need about 6 weeks recovery from that, so I guess I’ll be taking pictures and writing left handed.

I think I’m only staying at my current job because of the people I work with. The girls at work (yes, I work with only one guy, and he’s leaving on Friday [now Friday gone], so it’ll be just me) but those reasons are slowly slipping away.

Kristy, the girl who helped me get the job in the first place, tried to get me fired a few weeks back, of which I am not appreciative in the slightest. To cut a long story short, she snapped at me, so I snapped back and she flipped out, told my boss that I’d been going on Facebook whilst at work, so I told her (over Facebook, for ironies sake) that I didn’t want to be her friend after she’d tried to get me fired for the second time. Good old Kristy, at least she’s now living up to the pet name I had for her; Scum.

Though, it was amusing, to me at least, that now we’re not talking (well, she is yelling at me, a lot, but I just smile and keep working just to give her the shits) I don’t have to put up with her bipolar mood swings and general demeanour of bitchiness and back-stabbery. So I’ve been enjoying work just that little bit more now.

I was talking to Brigit about this today (almost a week after I started writing this post), actually, so here’s to you, lovely.

When I get bored, I start to analyse the relationships between myself and my friends, or just between my friends. I think about what they’re really getting out of the relationship, whether it is conscious or unconscious. So I’ve come up with a few things, but I’ll avoid using names in case they get upset with me. Though, if you think about it the same way I do and listen to the meaning behind what I say when I talk to you, you should be able to guess.

With one of my friends I’m incredibly chauvinistic and derogatory, and it gets all of it out of my system for at least a week, though I do end up repeating myself. Also, I’m teaching him to drink during the day and he wants me to write a book of all my personal insights, which probably isn’t such a bad idea, seeing as he claims he’ll pay me in beer! Our relationship seems based on mutual self-deprecation and sexist or racist remarks, which makes us feel like we’re not alone in what we feel and think.

Another, I feel unstable and childish, where anything goes and she’ll laugh with and at me and everything seems acceptable, though we had a serious conversation today, which was a good change of pace, so now she knows I’m not a complete nut job. She’s good company, because there’s never a dull moment, unless she’s studying, the smart cookie!

This one girl, she makes my head spin. I don’t know how she does it, maybe because she’s something fresh and new in her perspective on things, but she makes my imagination and feelings go mental, and I get so over excited and happy and I feel the need to be affectionate. Though that probably wouldn’t go down too well because she lives with her partner. We can talk for ages about the abstract and serious things and not let the conversation die, or switch to childhood heroes and all sorts of odd bits of information that not many people consider to be overly normal.

Another girl, this one’s a keeper I think, she’s so optimistic. And it’s not about some things, it seems that everything has such a good side. She’s always smiling and having a laugh, and whenever I’m with her I wish so many more people could have her gift, including myself.

One of her friends, never ceases to amaze me: she always manages to turn things into a joke somehow and is rarely embarrassed by anything. She’s always smiling, and I can see why her friends like her so much.

The next three girls, I’ve known for a while, they’ve either got the same kind of humour as me (we trained each other since we first met) and we never manage to have a quiet time unless we’re watching a movie or thinking together. Good study buddies, two of them all three are never afraid to speak their minds, though one without much experience with the stuff I’m usually preoccupied with, and it’s incredibly refreshing. They’ve inspired me to have January as my ‘Brutal Honesty January’ (as this month is Movember, and December is my quiet time to relax).

The last boy, he makes me feel slightly more manly and far more sporty and competitive than I’d normally like to admit, though he did help me through my ‘Healthy October’ month, though, he doesn’t seem to trust me that much any more. Who the fuck thinks ‘pow wow’ is sexual? Anyone?

Anyway, out of all these people, I can get my fix of all the positive feelings and mindsets, though I think it’s slightly unhealthy that I don’t have anyone I can be angry, aggressive or sad with because that shit just bottles up. Thanks to these people, who help keep me in check, it’s greatly needed and appreciated. Consider yourselves loved.

My question is, how much do you have to sacrifice to keep close to people like this, before it becomes unhealthy? And what if you’re unhealthy to begin with?

What is the price of something better?

Anyway, I’m going to bed, only get up and go for a ride, then attend poorly planned Cup Day celebrations. Good luck to all my friends who are doing exams at the moment and happy Movember to you moustache wielding maniacs.

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Looking to the Future?

Well, my friends, even for everyone who never actually bothered to send me messages over the social suck-hole, better known as Facebook. I'm on, after a hectic few weeks of frantic assignments and the rest.
So, what's happened in the recent past or is about to happen in the near future?

I'm seeing Vicki tomorrow, which I'm pretty excited about, but there's some stuff I need to sort out that probably shouldn't be said on-line. So, you'll just have to keep guessing. She had her Muck Up Day today, and her school had the theme of fairy tales, and she went as Thumbelina, which is quite fitting, and those who've met her before would know why! It's good; I like people who can have a laugh about themselves and make the best of situations. Today, people are far too concerned about the way others see them and the social cliques they suit. Just relax!

I've been having barbecues and get-togethers at my place over a Sunday afternoon after the training rides for the Great Victorian Bike Ride (only 38 days to go!), just so I can catch up with some decent people, who are suprisingly hard to find these days! Some of the people there deserve a trophy for being so awesome. It's good, but it turns out people only listen to me when I'm angry. So maybe, next time, there should be a limit on the amount of alcohol people can bring.
The best parts were: Seeing special people and busting out the Frisbee again!

Assignments for uni are done! I've only got 4 more assessments (one of which doesn't count for much) and two of those are exams. I'm glad it's all handed in, even if it isn't properly referenced and submitted late, it makes stress levels drop back down to an acceptable level!
Not all of the stress has gone. I'm in desperate need tutor for Statistics, and I'm willing to pay! I'm thinking along the lines of Alana's mum, seeing as she offered, and she's really funny. I'm kind of nervous about asking her though, I don't really want to look like a complete dead shit in front of her.
But if that's what I need to pass, that's what I'll do.

Projects, art and otherwise, shall soon be under way. Hopefully.
I've got 4 personal projects, all of which need expensive equipment I don't have, and another project that I want to start with Dave requires technical skills and some know-how I do not possess!
I still need to start painting my room and get some stencilling practice done.
I'm yet to start taking photo's for my Little Ironies project.
I need a video camera for 2 projects, shooting a promotional video for Mr. Youngs to show kids about the Great Victorian Bike Ride, and also to start interviewing friends about their outlook on life so I can keep track of how people have changed. I got the idea from a show I watched on SBS the other night, and it really made me appreciate how far I've come. So, if I buy a video camera and I come to you with a list of questions, don't be alarmed; I'm not filming you for a smut flick or about to film your last living moments. This one's innocent, I swear.

I've decided to give Allicia her own section on my blog so she can have a bit of information from down South. So, here's to you, Al!
There's been a lot of stuff going on down in Melbourne. I'll just give you some of the stuff that you might find interesting though.
Apparently Sam Kivell is "indeed a handsome yachtsmen" and has been mentioned in the local paper, the 'Mordialloc-Chelsea Leader' after taking a reporter out in Port Phillip Bay. The article was promoting the local sailing clubs, stating "It's the best summer fun you'll have (without champagne and a sun lounger)"! Surely, with Sam being skipper, the reporter had a lot more fun than usual! You can look at the article online on the Leader website.
(In my opinion) Kristy's taken her ego trip a tad too far at work, letting it get between her friends and her job, namely me. She's usually quite bipolar, for need of a better word, at work and everyone has to pussy foot around her moods and criticism to avoid a massive bitch fit for the rest of the night. Last Friday I was under the pump and snapped back at Kristy (over a bloody spoon of all things) and she flipped out, so I promptly told her that I didn't want to hear it and to get fucked. After she'd finished work she told my boss that I was constantly on Facebook while I'm at work, trying to get me in trouble or fired, in my opinion. So, needless to say, I'm not talking to her at all, blocked her from Facebook and I'm not looking forward to working with her on on Friday night!

Anyway, goodnight all you trusty people with nothing better to do than read my whining!
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What it is, is a monumental headfuck.

I tried to get my head around it for ages, but sometimes this doesn’t want to work.
You’d think you’d be able to find who, and what, you are in a place like this. Apparently I lack the headspace to do so. And it’s frustrating.

I get incredibly frustrated when I can’t work the way I need to, to get things done, especially when I have other people count on me to get it done. Work for example, I feel like I can’t do anything there properly because of my hands, I can’t lift everything like I used to. Uni, I can’t concentrate because I’m too preoccupied with trying to get myself in a better frame of mind, so I can’t read, I can’t take notes, I can’t take anything in. At home, I’m too tired to function properly so my folks think I’m drinking constantly (which seems incredibly tempting right now) and anti-social. When I’m out with my friends, I feel like I need to tell people things, about them, about their friends, about me, but they’re either stuck in the past and not likely to move forward and progress, or I know I’d fuck up a lot of things.
Right now I can’t work things out that will help me, and I can’t unload any of it because no one else needs that shit right now.

I find it funny, different people see different sides of me, depending on what I want to show them.
Uni people see the manic, over excitable kid who lives on the other side of town and just wants to be a kid again. There are a few people I’d love to say things to, but the time just ain’t right or they’d overreact in the extreme.
The guys I used to hang out with at school saw the serious but spineless kid, who just wanted to get out of there, but stuck to it anyway.
At work, my boss thinks I never speak, that I’m quiet and reserved, but I think Purdee thinks I’m irresponsible and immature.
I know my family think I’m a bit odd, anti-social, unmotivated, drugged, lazy and uninterested.
The different people I’m intimate with (either physically or emotionally) get the cutesy, cuddly guy who’s overly awkward and clumsy when he talks or moves.
Fuck, thinking about it, Cassie didn’t even get the full show. She only got the same things as the high school kids and the awkwardness.
And only a few people have seen me snap and go birko. Kate, Karen, my folks and Allicia are probably the only ones. It scares me, a lot, that. Now that I’m bigger and uglier than before, I think I could really get messy.

It gets confusing, when different groups are present, such as parties because I don’t know how to act, and I get really awkward looks and questions and it makes people think I hate everyone. Kind of funny, when you think about it, really.
I think I’d get the same reaction that Erin Fischer, that it’s ‘too intense’ or too full on, all at once. She’s good value though, it’s a pity we ‘can’t be friends’… Who the fuck says we can’t, besides you?

I’d love to meet someone who could follow the way my mind works. Any takers? Because, seriously, it’d be an experience. And a relief
Well, I’ve gotta make appointments for Wednesday. Good night, or rather, good morning, readers.

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Encouraged.

Well, how many people can actually follow this blog, I'm sending e-mails to the Blogger help centre to see what's happening with that. Send me a message on Facebook if you want to follow and I'll tell you when I've got it all sorted out. I know there's at least two people, so I expect messages! And plus, it makes me feel loved on Facebook.

I've currently got about 45 minutes until my next class and I'm bearing witness to one of the strangest dance practices I've ever seen! It's a multi-cultural Bollywood dance group. There's Indians, Vietnamese, Chinese, Greek and Russian people and it seems rather odd, but I'm assuming it's just because they're in a rather confined space and I don't have much experience with that kind of dancing.
I used to do ballroom dancing with Allicia Rae, who's the one working up in Queensland right now, and that was a whole lot of fun! It was pretty much a weekly session of laughing, tongue-in-earing and the occasional waltz, cha cha or fox trot. We looked absolutely hilarious though, because we were the youngest people in our lessons and she's more than a head smaller than me, the pipsqueak! I never did learn how to waltz properly though.

Anyway, what's been happening since my last post? I've been swamped with assessments, some of which I should be doing now and submitting soon, and I've decided to get fit! That's been a major thing for me.
I've decided that the whole of October is going to be following these rules:

1. No junk food, at all.
2. No more than two soft drinks/alcoholic drinks a day, unless there's a special occasion.
3. Exercise at least twice a week (running and riding)

This started after I ran the 6 km from my friends place at 3 o'clock in the morning without stopping, and I felt alright, so I thought I'd see what I'd be able to do if I was actually eating healthily and tried to get fit.

I’ve been doing the weekly rides on a Sunday Morning, 65 km ride yesterday and another again next week, but also running on Thursday nights after work and on a Sunday afternoon, after a reasonable rest.

It’s easier by far because my friends Dave and Al are doing it with me and they can hold a conversation whilst doing it.

I've become incredibly sick of some of my old friends, who probably don't realise, but they're stuck in the same place they have been for years, doing the same old stuff, having the same old fights and getting in the same trouble. I'm sick of it, because they treat me like a baby sitter. All I seem to do is look after people and make sure they don't get their heads kicked in, even if some of them really deserve it.

What else? More assessments, friend shenanigans and a whole lot of odd urges and impulses. I’m also slowly learning how to cook, but I don’t trust myself yet. I wouldn’t eat it, unless you want food poisoning. Well, I’ve got some more important stuff to talk about, so I’ll start a new post. Back in a jiffy.

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Far From Daily

This was written about two days ago, but I've been having troubles with my laptops wireless connection. Things have change, so excuse the things that have changed.

Good day, people! Sorry, I felt I had to be superior for a tad there, just for the hell of it. Anyway, as the title says, this blog has been far from daily in spilling forth dissonance. Oh, well, I s'pose I've been almost productive: drinking, catching up with friends and trying to get a start on both my room piece and my new art project. I really need to prioritise these things, but being organised is against my nature.
Exhibit A: Typing this all whilst at uni when I have stuff to do, homework wise. It's times like these that make me know why I go to the pub.

So, what's been happening, you ask? Not all that much that's out of the ordinary, besides September 19th being International Talk Like a Pirate Day. That was an amazing day, everyone thought I was absolutely off my nut, and I got to break out the old eye patch! Brilliant.

I don't know how many people experience the same kind of things as I do (murderous urges, obscure impulses and abnormal sensations), but lately I've been getting massive head spins when I stand up too quickly: they get that bad that I only see white and I feel like I've had way too much to drink. Well, for the past few days, I've found that if I stop moving and sit down I feel like I'm constantly falling forwards into the table, even though my body is stationary. God, it's very off putting, I'm glad it doesn't happen when I'm riding!

Talking about riding, Phil, Alistair, Alana, Rachel and I are going on the Great Victorian Bike Ride again this year. We started training not too long ago, maybe a few weeks, but it may be in jeopardy already! I got a mysterious text message from Phil this morning saying "Brad rang and said Wayne (who is the teacher from my old high school that organises for us all to go on the rides) had an accident with a saw"! Good start to the training, Wayno! Apparently, another teacher from the school would be able to take over the ride for the little kiddies, which would be alright, but the Great Vic wouldn't feel right without old Wayno. Poor bloke. Get well soon!

I've had a few friend related revelations over the past month, in which my opinions for those I held dear for a long, long time have turned bitter and not so dear.
Seriously, I'm just sick of being called upon to make sure people don't get into fights or pretend to neck themselves. It's a horrible thing to do to someone, even if you are just doing it for attention. Just be warned, next time you do that, I will bloody hit you, and you'll never see me again.
On a lighter note, Dave, my Monk-teaching, globe trotting, cuddly Canadian has returned! He got back the other week, after months overseas in India teaching Tibetan refugees English, and then staying with his dad and working over in the land of moose and maple syrup.
It's astounding to see how much he's changed. It only took five minutes to realise that he'd changed, but not physically. It was amazing to see how his attitude had changed, and his mannerisms too. I don't know anyone who changed so dramatically for the better in such a short time, but bravo to Dave.
In other news, my friend, Allicia, is moving up to Queensland soon. This Friday, I believe. She's got a job on Daydream Island and she'll be up there for at least six months. I don't have that much to say, except I'll miss you lots, and I hope you have fun.

Hmm, I seriously need to start bringing a camera around with me, as my art project has had more insights than I have usable photos! If I ask you for some kind of obscure photographs, please, don't be scared, I'll use them in good context, unless you manage to piss me off severely.

Anyway, enough wasting time. I should do some statistics, seeing as I wasted most of the day.
Blogs away!

P.S. I went over to Allicia's place tonight/yesterday morning, as she had a gathering of close friends around to see her off. I realised this may be the last time I see her until next year. I'll miss you heaps, lovie.
Send me a few photo's of you when you get up there, or some 'Myspace' shots of you on the plane, I have a few ideas for my art project.

Welcome back, my children.

My sincere apologies to those who actually bothered to read this (Yes! Some other people actually do!), but you’ll have to excuse me because I recently found my way into the social suck-hole better known as Facebook. After all those years of resisting I caved in to get access to some photographs of a friends 18^th! Shame on me, I know, but it just tends to make me waste vast amounts of time.

Well, now to fill you in on things so the Shit To Do List: I managed to complete my short term goal of achieving three out of seven things, even if it was pure arse! I landed a job, practically by accident (thanks to you, Scum!), I saw a whole lot of friends, old and new and I s’pose I could cheat and say I consumed the 4.5 litres of Jim Beam from different 700 ml bottles. So, I win!

I have an idea for a little creative project that might be good, probably not. It'll be similar to something called "A Softer World", and it makes me smile. We'll see how it goes, because I have these incredibly ironic and perspective changing moments that occur way too often to not share them, or at least record them. All I need is a camera and some know-how with some photo editing software. Dave Power? Where art thou?

I had my 19^th yesterday, which was wonderful. I woke up, nearly naked in bed with a guy called Jake, spent most of it drinking, drunk or asleep! Sounds like a good day to me, though I could think of several other people that would be more pleasant to wake up to, sorry, Jake.

I went to Pugg Mahones, an Irish Pub in the city and got my drink on with friends from a few different groups and got bought so much grog I thought I’d died and gone to some kind of heaven with loud music and beer. Fantastic!

Though, this afternoon, I realised that I need to have a major reshuffle of whom I consider to be close, or, to use a more adequate term, good friends. Those who I have known for a long time seem to be losing everything they once had going for them and they just watch it all walk away.

And, seriously, how many more times can you play the “oh, so troubled child” card when the rest of your deck tells me you just drink because you feel inadequate?

Anyway, I (b)logged on to just prove I’m still trying in vain to get a regular blog going and I’ve had a great lack of sleep and so I shall just post this and catch you all on the flip side, either that or at uni.

Blogs away!

Formalism

Wow, what a night! Alistair and I managed to score invites to the O.L.S.H. (Our Lady of the Sacred Heart; some Catholic college) formal and all I can really say is it blew my mind. Oh, I feel the BeeGee's busting out! "Oh, what a night!"
I went with a wonderful and zany girl, Vicki, and Alistair with Rach, who seemed to feel out of place being so dressed up!

Seeing as I have another half hour to kill before I go to Rocka I'll take the time to fill you in on how Alistair and I met these O.L.S.H. girls.
Al and I have done the Great Victorian Bike Ride almost every year since year 7. When we (more I) were old enough to develop the confidence to talk to girls and a voice that spoke rather than squeaked in about year 9, we started the unofficial tradition of hanging out with the O.L.S.H. crew on the Ride.
So last year, we met three overly energetic and crazy girls, Alana, Rach and Lacey, and we hung out with them and had a ridiculous time with them just hanging out, exploring all the little country towns which were unfortunate to support the 5 or 6 thousand riders for a night. We exchanged numbers and we kept in contact after the ride was over and we've caught up heaps since then at birthdays, parties and to catch a movie or two.

Somehow, both Vicki and Rach decided to invite Al and I to their formal and it was amazing! We went to a place in South Yarra, 9 Darling Street. It was awesome to see the girls all dressed up, seeing as I usually only see them in lycra or trackies. OK, there may have been jeans once or twicem but that's it!
But the night was amazing, every moment I was there and even afterwards is incredibly memorable.
Ha! I think I suprised a few people when I slow danced with a bloke named Dave Power, an awesome fella with a killer last name, too. But I gotta say, whilst Dave was good because I copped a feel, dancing with Vicki was far more enjoyable.

I've gotta say, it feels strange being in a suit for so long and having to behave (which I almost did). To all the kids who are reading this, who were nice enough to extend the invite, I hope I behaved myself and you had a memorable night.
Blogs away in formal attire!

Stalker Update #2

Creepy central...
Ha, "CC's" does anyone remember those chips? They were absolutely horrible!
Oh, on the topic of horrific memories I have yet another creepy person who's developed the habit of calling me off different numbers so she can try and organise to "hang out". I have a sneaking suspicion that "hang out" is loosely related to "drug, bind and violate repeatedly" in this girls book.
We'll call this one "S" because I don't know her full name and it'd be quite a shock if she found this blog. I expect her and L would find some way of putting my genitals through a meat grinder without my knowledge.
S goes to my uni as well, very strange, just not as clingy and touchy as L. Maybe I am overreacting with this but I find them both strange and more than slightly off putting.

If this goes on for too long I could officially add to my "Roman Numerals of Stalkerism" from II to III! Very exciting.
Stalker Update away!

Oh, Irony, my love, why do you mock me so?

It’s strange, but I don’t know whether this is genuine concern or just sour grapes. For those who know, I’m traumatised that my ex girlfriend has started dating one of the guys I hated most from my high school.

I hated her spending time with who I used to joke and call “Darling Daniel” or “Beloved Brownie” (don’t you just love it how this comes back and gets you in the end?). I hated it because he treated his last girlfriend like absolute scum. From what I saw he made her stop seeing her friends (the few she had to begin with) pushed her around, apparently as a joke, emotionally strangle her and treat her more like a possession than another human being.
There was also the fact that Darling Daniel was head over heals in love with Cassie, which Cass was completely oblivious to (maybe, I’m starting to doubt it now). He was always looking for excuses to assist our relationship breakdown by telling her “you should break up with him for your own good”.
So, I didn’t like her hanging out with him, although I never stopped her seeing him, because that would have made me as bad as him.

But, strangely enough, he’s now the boyfriend who hates me and doesn’t like Cass seeing me. I’m the one who’s probably still concerned about her for the wrong reasons.
I’m now the one who wants to be overly protective and tell her to break up with Beloved Brownie for her own good. This scares me. A lot.

I used to think she had opened her eyes to nasty people like Darling Daniel like I had, but maybe I was just looking in a mirror. Oh, Irony, my love, why do you mock me so?
Blogs away.

3:02 a.m. and Unfortunately Conscious

This post was written at 3:02 a.m., hence the name, and published the day after because my laptop battery died.

Holy shit, I’m getting an intense experience right now: lying in bed listening to a few memory loaded songs and the rain pounding against my window. All I can really say on that is “I wish someone else could experience this as I am”!

I cant sleep at the moment and I feel slightly delirious at the moment so it might pay to keep in mind that I'm getting a little odd as it's very early in the morning and I'm unable to sleep at all.

So, first things first: An update of my Shit To Do List!
1. Get a job: Success! I managed to land myself a job. The funny thing is; I work in the same place (the Mentone R.S.L.) doing exactly the same stuff (being a dish pig/waiter) but with a different employer. It’s quite amusing because I’ve held the same job and outlasted my last two employers there! Oh, irony, why do you bless me so?

2. Buy and consume another 4.5 litre bottle of Jim Beam: Because I actually have a job now I have the means to gain the funds to purchase said overly large bottle of Jim Beam, it means I no longer have access to the time to drink said overly large bottle of pure joy.

3. Get my room ready for painting: I haven’t done anything on that yet because I’ve had the flu (no, not swine flu… I haven’t been coughing pigs) and I’ve been bed ridden for a week and a bit. Did you know that swine flu is actually less intense than the normal flu, its just that the H1N1 strain has been blown out of proportion?

4. Begin to get my ass into shape for this years Great Victorian Bike Ride: Nope, see above excuse (number three that is) but just add in something along the lines of “and I really can’t be fucked getting up that early” on the end.

5. Get a photo album started to decorate my blog with: Three fails in a row! I’m on a roll! My folks have taken the camera to Borneo with them and it will be out of reach and country for another fifteen days or so, so unless you want overly out of focus photographs from my phone it might have to be missed. Though I have had some amusing photo’s on my phone before… Oh, L, why did you scare me so much?

6. Get into contact with some friends I haven’t seen in ages: Check! I’ve seen my friend Zoe, Louise, Phirrip, Amanda, Bec, James Link and Dylan Murray. I doubt you’d recognise many of those people at all so you can just ignore them. I’ll be catching up with my good friend Nnnnnnnnnita soonish and we’ll have a jolly good time with some other special people.

7. Jam: Sorry, kiddies, not yet. I did manage to leave my ridiculously heavy jamming gear Cushen’s place for over a week but, alas, jamming did not proceed. Cushen and I have a strange habit of organising to jam or catch up and never actually follow through with it. It’s amazing that we actually manage to see each other at all!

So, two out of seven. I think in the next couple of weeks I’ll have to work a tad harder to get this stuff done. Mind you, I only set myself a goal of three out of seven so I’m closer than we all care to believe.

Well, this blog definitely isn't living up to its name. "Daily" seems to have turned into "whenever I don't feel like strangling Twihards and have access to the blogosphere".
Blogs away!

The "Shit To Do" List

Here is my "Shit To Do" list and accompanying explanations of why it needs to be done.

1. Get another job: The job that I have now (being a waiter at the R.S.L. in Mentone) is only going to last another 3 weeks because my boss got kicked out of the Bistro. The people who own and run the R.S.L. run and employ the bar staff and usually hire independent companies, like my bosses, to run the Bistro. My losing my job is a ripple effect from my boss getting her ass fired! So I'm going out on Sunday, if I'm not working then, or Monday doing a resume run to a few different places like a music store come cafe and SexyLand, both of which would be very entertaining to work in. I also need to find a job which will let me shave my head again.
2. Buy and consume another 4.5 L bottle of Jim Beam: For my schoolies week that was spent drunk up in Shoreham, I consumed a fair portion of my first 4.5 L bottle of Jim Beam, and the month after that I worked my way through a second one. I've decided to go all out and have my month and a half worth of alcohol bought in one go rather than waste more money on several trips up to my trust local Safeway Liquor.
3. Get my room ready for painting: I've been telling myself for ages that I need to re-paint my room to rid it of the horrible light beige colour it is now. I'm going to go with an equally boring shade of white but make a few stencils of some stuff which might seem generic to most but I'll enjoy doing it. It means that I'll have to get my hands on a lot of sand paper, gap filler, white paint, charcoal, paper, a projector and black and pink spray paint. I might also have to abduct Brigit so she can help me with the final product. I'll see if my next blog can include some photo's of my room and I'll describe to you what'll be going up on the walls and the like.
4. Begin to get my ass into shape for the Great Victorian Bike Ride this year: The Great Vic is held every year in the cross over week between November and December and I actually want to be able to keep up with my friend, Alistair, this year, because he's been too strong and too fit other years to keep up with him. This might actually prompt me to get into shape a little as I feel disproportionate when I get my legs all muscular and the like and the rest of my body is all skin and bone.
5. Get a photo album started to decorate my blog with: The Daily Dissonance is growing (post wise, not follower wise) and I think it might be in dire need of a little beautification in the form of pictures.
6. Get into contact with some old friends I havent seen in ages: I've been dwelling on how strange it is when you realise that all the promises to "stay in touch" and "hang out soon" never actually happen and I've decided to brush the cobwebs off the old friendships and get them going again.
7. Jam: I'm going to have enough spare time to jam with a few different people, especially Louise and Zoe, who I think would brink out the best in the kinda music I feel like writing at this point in time, but we all know that is subject to change. I just want to broaden my horizons a little more.

So there are seven things that I'd like to cross off my "Shit To Do" list over the next six weeks. I'm going to set myself a minimum of three things to cross off with my limited resources. So, send me a list of the stuff that you want to get done over your holidays or a span of time from now onwards to the near future.
Enjoy!
Blogs away!

Buggered; But Full of Ideas

Ugh, work sucked! God! I think I've gotta stop saying yes to doing extra stuff at work for no extra money.
So I'm finally winding down at home after cutting a few corners cleaning up at work and I'm watching bad T.V. shows waiting for the effects of the multiple "knock off" drinks wear off.
We're normally entitled to one spirit or two beers or wines, but tonight I had a few more than that: two Jim Beams, two vodka's and my bosses knock off drink and after not eating much and drinking last night, I'm feeling a little more joyous than usual.

Tonight, I'm meant to be down in Mornington with one of my friends, Karen, who I haven't seen for months! I haven't seen her more than twice since the end of my final exams from high school. (Oh my God, Rage!) I've probably pissed her off a little because I couldn't make it, but I have six weeks of holidays from uni classes.
So, that explains the name of the last blog and leads me to the name of this one.
Seeing as I have six weeks of potential boredom I've decided to set out a check list of things I'd like to accomplish by the time I get back to uni. But I'll post that in the next blog (which will be posted immediately after this one for aesthetics sake) and I'm definately expecting comments!
Blogs away!

My Six Weeks of Freedom

I'm just going to knock out a quick blog before I ride to work tonight and I'm doing so one handed whilst trying to force a hot curry pie down my throat to avoid being scalded! I hope you appreciate the trouble I'm currently going through to do this for you, my dearest phantom readers.

Well, my psych exam was kind of a shambles as I was stumped by a 5 point question right at the end of my exam, so I left with feeling less than confident.
A few mates who suffered through the same exam decided to go back to L's place for a bit of a celebration and things got a bit weird whilst playing a game of "ring of fire" (a brilliant drinking game).
L, in the generic stalkerish way in which she operates, came out with an "I love you, Mikey". Now, who does this remind be of? Holy handcuffs, Batman: This could be another creepy re-run of Emma!
I just hope L doesn't touch me in my sleep.
I'm safe for a few days at least as a group, including an infatuated L, have gone up to stay in Apollo Bay. I love that place, and I don't really want to tarnish my memories of it by spending time up there with L. Not my style.

So there's my update of my troubling exam experience, and I might elaborate on that soon, but I've got to get ready for work and pedal my little heart out to get there on time. I'll catch you on the flip side.
Blogs away!

The Last Few Hours

Nope, I'm not planning to kill myself, although that maybe a relatively easy option compared to tomorrow. I have my last exam for my first semester at uni: Psychology.

I've done a bit of studying, but I'm assuming that it's not going to be enough to do the short answer questions. God, what am I freaking out about? I should do fine... I hope.
Anyway, I've got approximately 10 hours from now to go until the pens hits paper.

7 hours of sleep (90% much need primarily beauty sleep)
1 hour gaining consciousness and eating breakfast.
1.something hours of being groped on a train.
And the rest will be spent cramming relentlessly! Like the time I'll spend scribbling and underlining my textbook in bed...
Oh, how fun!

At least, after midday tomorrow, I'll be free for 6 weeks! Brilliant. Hopefully I'll get my room ready for a bit of home done stencilling in that time.
Well, time for some beauty sleep, so I'll update you soon after my exam.
Blogs away!

24 Seconds of Fame

I've been waiting for ages to post this on The Daily Dissonance! It's taken me a while because I'm what I like to call technologically crippled. I'm learning. Slowly, but learning all the same.

Anyway, this video is of my friend, Cushen, who went all out this year to go to DefQon.
From what he's told me, DefQon is a massive rave festival that goes all over the place, and the one on currently is near Amsterdam.
Each year, they hold a competition: The person who publicises the DefQon logo the most wins two plane tickets, accommodation and entry to the rave for the week.

Cushen decided that he'd go mental with his attempt, and it paid off! For all of those who went to see the "Dreamtime at the G" match between Richmond and Essondon they would have seen something like this: A short guy running across the M.C.G. with his pants around his ankles, a cape with the DefQon logo painted on it and a red elephant g-string ("It's cool! You put your JUNK in the TRUNK!"). And here's the footage of him making a fool of himself.



Brilliant! I met up with him at e:55 later that night and he was so psyched about it.
Anyway, he did win the competition and he's currently over in Amsterdam enjoying some of his much love hardstyle. He should be back in the next couple of days and I'll see if I can get him to do a post about the streak and the trip.

The only problems with his streaking at the MCG (Melbourne Cricket Ground for all you people who aren't up on Aussie lingo) is that he has to go to court for interupting a public event, pay a $6, 000 fine and may be put on the sex offenders list. Damn...
Much respect and love to the little man. I hope he's having a good ol' time over in Amsterdam.

So that's all for me tonight, as I have to have a decent sleep so I can go job hunting (and not look like a member the living dead) in the morning and study for my Psychology exam.
Blogs away!

Update: Stalker

I've decided to give you updates of some of the things that amuse me from day to day and for those who decided not to read the title OR can't put two and two together, this one is an update on L.

Out of the blue at 10:32 p.m.: "Take care of yourself, bud. It might not be much, but I'm here and I'm thinking of you. (smiley face) Love you millions."*


* Note: all information from L is not edited in any way except for correcting as many grammatical errors that my little brain can handle.

It Will Never End.

"It will never end"

Well, it was a bit strange to wake up with that scrawled across my wrist this morning. I'd forgotten my friends sister had taken 5 minutes to write it on my arm. Maegen is 15, and I'm not entirely sure about how to spell her name, and I'm assuming that it was an attempt to be profound. Either that or she's a clairvoyant and she successfully predicted one of three things:

a) I'm going to continue to freeze my ass off for as long as I live.
b) I'll be chasing after people out of reach.
c) She'll never falter in her attempts to impress others through profoundness.

It did achieve what it was meant to, though. It made me think about her, but it also got me thinking about all sorts of things. You'll find I have a habit of letting my mind run away from what I should be focussing on and taking it's own path, finding questions to dwell upon until they bug me enough to find some kind of an answer, or at least an opinion on the matter.

But when I found Maegen's graffiti I was listening to the Hilltop Hoods song, Breathe, and I was caught on one line for at least half an hour!
"A man's success ain't measured by the depths of his pocket."

Will we ever get to a point as a culture or civilisation to actually take the grand "if you don't have this you don't have anything" emphasis off wealth and fortune and finally put the spotlight on knowledge and experience? Probably not in this lifetime.
There's a movie called "Idiocracy" that shows my way of thinking about this. It's a terrible movie with poor acting and all, but this is where we're heading at the moment.
Blogs away!

It's No Longer the Blind Leading the Blind

Wow, enlightenment! I just had a brilliant moment coming home on the train. I had a conversation with a guy called Terence about an umbrella, where he worked and all sorts of stuff.
I was sitting at the train station and there was a big black umbrella on the seat next to me when the train coming the other way came up to the platform. On old guy, around 60, came off the train, saw the umbrella and acted out in a very animated way "That's my umbrella. Thank you!"
From that point, I realised that he was deaf, because I have a few deaf friends. We had a simple, conversation about how much his umbrella cost ($50) and how I should "keep it quiet, so my wife won't hear" (she's deaf too)!
Once I couldn't under the more complex parts of the conversation he pulled out his phone and we talked via text and I found that he teaches Auslan, an Australian sign language at a TAFE not too far from my house and all sorts of stuff and he's a nice guy as well! I told him about my friend who lives up in Cairns, who wants to come down and be an Auslan interperetor for primary schools and the like, and how I wanted to learn Auslan and he gave me a card for a short course to learn Auslan.

The point is not just that I had a conversation with such a nice guy. The point is that a lot of the stuff I've been learning at uni has started to make sense!
Especially sociology. They said something along the lines of "society and culture are viewed through the lens of language". That's entirely true and there are a few examples of it, like eskimo's having around 20 words for snow and me only being able to think of about 4 that I've ever heard, and some languages have multiple words for different colours or the word love and others still have "his" and "hers" words for objects without a gender (like computers).
But it's more interesting still to figure out how not being able to hear a language effects your concept of a language and how you communicate with those who can hear it. I mean, Terence was exceptional at conveying the meaning of what he wanted to get across and I could communicate with him. It's bloody brilliant!

I wonder what it'd be like to live without something that everyone takes for granted. Have anyone really experienced something like that? I mean, sure, when I broke a bone in my hand, it sucked because I couldn't use my right hand, but what if it was my sight? Or what if my hand had to be amputated (I know it's a little extreme for a busted bone, but I'm sure it's happened somewhere)?
But something like that could happen in the most obscure of situations. When my dad was half my age he was at scouts and one of the kids there was blinded by a potato! A bloody potato!

So, my pseudo-philosophic comment for tonight: Maybe we should all stop complaining about what's going wrong with our lives and actually appreciate what we have and what we have the ability to experience. Just maybe. But I doubt it. It's just too easy to complain about trivial and pointless crap.
Get real, kids, because someone else has always got it worse than you.

My First Firsts

Well this seems like it is actually turning into something 'daily', isn't it? Well enjoy it while it lasts, my phantom readers, as I doubt it shall last at this frequency for much longer.
Talking about frequencies: I had my Statistics and Research Methods exam today. What a waste of time that was! I spent 90 minutes wondering what formula to use for the hypothesis... That may be an exaggeration but, as those unfortunate enough to go through some kind of schooling with me, I loath most forms of mathematics as it's all boring and repetitive (I can imagine my friend Kelly having a go at me for that statement. Bloody accountants in training!)

I've got a Sociology exam tomorrow at 2 p.m. so I should be studying for a little longer, but I had a really strong urge to splurge.
So, what was I going on about in my last blog? Right, creepy stalker women. Quite an experience if I do say so myself. Try it out if you get the chance, especially when you're young because it'll scar you for life.

Emma led me to my first actual exposure to sex, which is quite unfortunate really.
It was a night of firsts for me: first time drunk, first time I had proper social contact with some strange people and the first time I was a wing-man!
I had way too much to drink for a skinny 14 year old with a few people, Emma included, and we got driven from one side of the suburb to the other because I couldn't even stand up properly. We crashed at Ryan's place because my parents didn't know I drank, and didn't so until I was 16, and going home in such a poor condition could have proved fatal for all involved!
I had a bed set up for me in the lounge room and, unbeknownst to me, Emma and Alex occupied the couch.
I don't know whether I passed out or fell asleep, but I do remember waking up to my first live sex experience: what looked like a pasty whale being humped by a gorilla.
Emma is quite large and Alex needs to learn the true meaning of a "back, sack and crack". I'm not sure if it was the excess amount of alcohol in my system of such a horrific sight that made me do it, but I also experienced another first that night: stumbling outside and vomiting horrendously into the gutter! Oh, how I miss being 14...

Tell me; do you have any firsts you would like to share? Any memorable or horrific ones like my own? Comment me and share your life experience across the blogosphere* with the rest of the technologically restless!

Well, Sol, this is from one racist Australian to another: adios, amigo!
Blogs away!

Why am I always the bait?

Alright, this might not be the Thursday after exams (I have Stats tomorrow, and I'm well and truly boned!), Sociology the day after and Psych the following week, but I got the best text ever from a friend at uni, who we shall name "L".

It reads as follows: "Do you think I'm a stalker sometimes?"
Brilliant! I have a girl who sends me a ridiculous amount of messages a day, whether I reply or not, has amazingly unpredictable mood swings and difficulty understanding the terms "clingy" and "obsessive".
I thought it was hilarious when she was trying endlessly to get into Al's pants and he wouldn't have a bar of it! She'd practically throw herself at him and he'd fob her off continuously. I made the dumb decision to comfort her when she was feeling down about her misfortunes with Al, and that's where the trouble started! First it was the endless talking and texting and then she'd send me pictures of herself (which I shouldn't post on this blog in case she manages to find them and hunt me down) and then the incessant "I miss you, Mikey" messages... For crying out loud; stop bugging me!
Today, she has sent me 10 messages, after I stopped replying. Oh, make that 11! Perfect timing, L.

So, the question for tonight's blog is: Is L a stalker? Please, start off what will hopefully be a successful and continuous poll! Anyone can use it, it's just like any other online poll you've done.

I guess I should tell you about my other stalker. Some lady called Emma who's a little older than I am, she followed the same stalker pattern as L, so I have a sneaking suspicion that they've been passing notes on some stalker forum.
She was going after the drummer in my little jam session group, and she had him for a while in some kind of sexual stranglehold, but when he got sick of her and moved on to another girl, she set her evil, carnivorous eyes on me. She moved a bit faster than L did, she moved straight to the "I love you" stage. there was a point where she'd call me to see if i was home and drive by my house and stuff.
I don't know if you've ever experienced something like that, but when your 17 and have a lady who's more than twice your weight who circles your house like a hawk screeching "I love you!" at random intervals, it's fucking scary!
She did all this weird stuff as well, which I think they actually have laws against (or should): I had a bit too much to drink at a party she was at and I crashed early, only to wake up with her touching me with her meat hook hands where only a few people (including myself and doctors) are allowed to touch!
I remember going to the bathroom to get away from her and staying there for 20 minutes hoping she'd fall asleep again.

Strangely, Emma exposed me to my first sexual experience, if somewhat accidentally... but that should hopefully appear in a post in the near future. Possibly when I get sick of studying for Psych.
Anyway, wish me luck for the trials of nerves of steel, pen and paper... I'll need it.
Blogs away!

Progress

Well as you can see from my erratic postings, this blog may not actually live up to it's name and actually qualify as daily! And unfortunately, my non-existent readers, not many people seem to be stumbling upon my blog, but, futile as it may seem, I shall blog on and hope that someone is actually out there.

As I said in my last blog, my mate David, the jolly Canadian, he's over in India teaching Tibetan refugees English. Isn't it amazing; an 18 year old kid going to another place and culture to help others? Shit, I wish I was doing something productive that didn't just involve being talked at while sitting in rows of horny teenagers. It's very difficult to listen when you're being felt up by the person next to you! Needless to say, I do enjoy my Statistics and Research Methods lectures.

As you might have guessed by now, I'm a uni student, and I really should be doing something productive at the moment because my first mid year exam is only two days away and I'm just tapping away relentlessly trying to gain an audience that will listen diligently to my posted ramblings. I've been attempting to delve into the twisted minds of the people around me for years, and people tend to open up to me for some reason, so I decided to find a profession that will get me paid for doing things I'm interested in. That is, become a psychologist. Or a counselor.
Either way I think it would be interesting to hear what goes on in a normal life.

I'm doing a double major in Psychology and Sociology (the studies of the brain/individuals and society respectively) which apparently go well together. I don't care, really, as long as it's interesting.

Anyway kids, I really gotta get back to work and make some progress... if you could call it that. I'll get back to you on Thursday night after my Sociology Exam.
Blogs away!

A Work In Progress

Part of the reason I started this blog was because I'd be able to access it in my room, away from the prying eyes of others, thanks to the help of my trusty new laptop. I'm in the boringly slow process of putting all of my old music onto it while I'm writing this. At the moment, it's some good ol' Marvin Gaye.
I'm not technologically savvy, but that doesn't stop me from being too proud to use it at every opportunity. According to the trusty sticker on the front it's a "HP Pavilion dv3 Series Entertainment Notebook PC"... Brilliant...

Anyway, I was shocked and appalled to find that you can't get your songs from an iPod back into iTunes on another computer! Now, I may be a little behind the times when it comes to things like this, but it still sucks.
It sucks hard because most of my music has been taken off albums or singles I've borrowed off my friends. I used to have the back ups on the computer everyone else in this house uses but someone, in their complete and all knowing wisdom, did something that corrupted the files. As you could guess, I was not impressed.

While I've been doing a mad search and rescue for all of my currently owned CD's i found two that I've been looking for since this time last year. When I was in year 10 we had to do work experience for a week, and I was lucky enough to get a placement at The Tone Factory down in Moorabbin.
It was awesome being there. I was with a bunch of guys who had almost no work at the time so they'd set up a ping pong table and a dart board. For five days from 10 to 4 I'd play table tennis or darts and jam in some of the session rooms. One of the guys showed me how they recorded different ads in the master studio and then helped me mix a small song.
I called it Binary, and it only goes for about two minutes, but it's a start. If I can figure out how to navigate my way around this blog ill see if i can post it up on here for you all to insult my poor playing skills.
I've also got two other of my own songs recorded thanks to a song writing workshop last year with my friend Louise and a girl we met there called Zoe.

So I found the CD with all of these songs on them and it made me think about all of the things i wanted back then.
Back in year 10 my parents fought a lot and tended to take it out on my sister and I, not that she helped herself much, and all they wanted me to do was drop out school and do an apprenticeship in either carpentry or plumbing.
I had different ideas entirely: I had the regular schoolboy dream of spending my days in a never ending jam session with my good mates and make a bit of money out of it. I was so optimistic about it back then, and still a little bits so, and it seems kinda foolish now pinning all of my dreams on that.

It's good though, remembering where I've been, and what I've gone through.
Ill soon tell you about my mate, David, the jolly Canadian. He's over in India at the moment being all noble and devoting the best part of 6 months or so to teaching Tibetan refugees English. In my next blog I might explain more on this because I'm getting a bit tired and lazy and I've gotta start studying for exams soon.
Before I go, the thought for the day: Have you had a moment where you look back at what you were and how it's made you now? I wish they'd come freely and more often to me rather than when I'm recovering from the night before.
Blogs away!

The First and Last are Always Remembered

So, the momentous first blog: I'll keep it quick.
Well it's somewhere around 2:00 and I got all sentimental over something so I put on Roads by Portishead (now Glory Box by the same band) and decided to document some of my daily fortunes (mis- or otherwise) from this point onwards. I've got to say, being this early in the morning I'm having trouble dusting off the brain and ridding it of all the gunk it up took since this morning.

To start, I'm Mike. I'm somewhere between the mental age of an eight year old and and someone considerably older. I live somewhere South-East of Melbourne and I hope I can be a little more creative than this later on.
I'm sure you'll find out I have a twisted and somewhat macarbe and psychosexual at times, and at others completely off. My family seems to think so, and you might hear about them later on down the track.

Now, just to set this out for you, more so for myself, I'll try to adhere to at least a vague formula or regular updates on this, but it is my first proper blog and one of my first actual commitments in life outside of the ordinary. Contrary to the name, this will not be daily, hopefully just when I feel the need to splurge some information that races around in my head. That, fortunate for some and not so for others, is almost inevitable. Chances are you'll get a few posts when I've come home from a big night out and I'm feeling pseudo-philosophic.
Also, I'll try to be nice and friendly but I promise nothing more than a poor attempt at that.
I'll also try to get my one vague thought that relates to the blog in the title, so keep an eye out for any bland ones and I'll see what I can do.

I'm hoping someone will find my ramblings, rants, raves and rhetoric as entertaining as I do.
Blogs away!