The "Shit To Do" List

Here is my "Shit To Do" list and accompanying explanations of why it needs to be done.

1. Get another job: The job that I have now (being a waiter at the R.S.L. in Mentone) is only going to last another 3 weeks because my boss got kicked out of the Bistro. The people who own and run the R.S.L. run and employ the bar staff and usually hire independent companies, like my bosses, to run the Bistro. My losing my job is a ripple effect from my boss getting her ass fired! So I'm going out on Sunday, if I'm not working then, or Monday doing a resume run to a few different places like a music store come cafe and SexyLand, both of which would be very entertaining to work in. I also need to find a job which will let me shave my head again.
2. Buy and consume another 4.5 L bottle of Jim Beam: For my schoolies week that was spent drunk up in Shoreham, I consumed a fair portion of my first 4.5 L bottle of Jim Beam, and the month after that I worked my way through a second one. I've decided to go all out and have my month and a half worth of alcohol bought in one go rather than waste more money on several trips up to my trust local Safeway Liquor.
3. Get my room ready for painting: I've been telling myself for ages that I need to re-paint my room to rid it of the horrible light beige colour it is now. I'm going to go with an equally boring shade of white but make a few stencils of some stuff which might seem generic to most but I'll enjoy doing it. It means that I'll have to get my hands on a lot of sand paper, gap filler, white paint, charcoal, paper, a projector and black and pink spray paint. I might also have to abduct Brigit so she can help me with the final product. I'll see if my next blog can include some photo's of my room and I'll describe to you what'll be going up on the walls and the like.
4. Begin to get my ass into shape for the Great Victorian Bike Ride this year: The Great Vic is held every year in the cross over week between November and December and I actually want to be able to keep up with my friend, Alistair, this year, because he's been too strong and too fit other years to keep up with him. This might actually prompt me to get into shape a little as I feel disproportionate when I get my legs all muscular and the like and the rest of my body is all skin and bone.
5. Get a photo album started to decorate my blog with: The Daily Dissonance is growing (post wise, not follower wise) and I think it might be in dire need of a little beautification in the form of pictures.
6. Get into contact with some old friends I havent seen in ages: I've been dwelling on how strange it is when you realise that all the promises to "stay in touch" and "hang out soon" never actually happen and I've decided to brush the cobwebs off the old friendships and get them going again.
7. Jam: I'm going to have enough spare time to jam with a few different people, especially Louise and Zoe, who I think would brink out the best in the kinda music I feel like writing at this point in time, but we all know that is subject to change. I just want to broaden my horizons a little more.

So there are seven things that I'd like to cross off my "Shit To Do" list over the next six weeks. I'm going to set myself a minimum of three things to cross off with my limited resources. So, send me a list of the stuff that you want to get done over your holidays or a span of time from now onwards to the near future.
Enjoy!
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Buggered; But Full of Ideas

Ugh, work sucked! God! I think I've gotta stop saying yes to doing extra stuff at work for no extra money.
So I'm finally winding down at home after cutting a few corners cleaning up at work and I'm watching bad T.V. shows waiting for the effects of the multiple "knock off" drinks wear off.
We're normally entitled to one spirit or two beers or wines, but tonight I had a few more than that: two Jim Beams, two vodka's and my bosses knock off drink and after not eating much and drinking last night, I'm feeling a little more joyous than usual.

Tonight, I'm meant to be down in Mornington with one of my friends, Karen, who I haven't seen for months! I haven't seen her more than twice since the end of my final exams from high school. (Oh my God, Rage!) I've probably pissed her off a little because I couldn't make it, but I have six weeks of holidays from uni classes.
So, that explains the name of the last blog and leads me to the name of this one.
Seeing as I have six weeks of potential boredom I've decided to set out a check list of things I'd like to accomplish by the time I get back to uni. But I'll post that in the next blog (which will be posted immediately after this one for aesthetics sake) and I'm definately expecting comments!
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My Six Weeks of Freedom

I'm just going to knock out a quick blog before I ride to work tonight and I'm doing so one handed whilst trying to force a hot curry pie down my throat to avoid being scalded! I hope you appreciate the trouble I'm currently going through to do this for you, my dearest phantom readers.

Well, my psych exam was kind of a shambles as I was stumped by a 5 point question right at the end of my exam, so I left with feeling less than confident.
A few mates who suffered through the same exam decided to go back to L's place for a bit of a celebration and things got a bit weird whilst playing a game of "ring of fire" (a brilliant drinking game).
L, in the generic stalkerish way in which she operates, came out with an "I love you, Mikey". Now, who does this remind be of? Holy handcuffs, Batman: This could be another creepy re-run of Emma!
I just hope L doesn't touch me in my sleep.
I'm safe for a few days at least as a group, including an infatuated L, have gone up to stay in Apollo Bay. I love that place, and I don't really want to tarnish my memories of it by spending time up there with L. Not my style.

So there's my update of my troubling exam experience, and I might elaborate on that soon, but I've got to get ready for work and pedal my little heart out to get there on time. I'll catch you on the flip side.
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The Last Few Hours

Nope, I'm not planning to kill myself, although that maybe a relatively easy option compared to tomorrow. I have my last exam for my first semester at uni: Psychology.

I've done a bit of studying, but I'm assuming that it's not going to be enough to do the short answer questions. God, what am I freaking out about? I should do fine... I hope.
Anyway, I've got approximately 10 hours from now to go until the pens hits paper.

7 hours of sleep (90% much need primarily beauty sleep)
1 hour gaining consciousness and eating breakfast.
1.something hours of being groped on a train.
And the rest will be spent cramming relentlessly! Like the time I'll spend scribbling and underlining my textbook in bed...
Oh, how fun!

At least, after midday tomorrow, I'll be free for 6 weeks! Brilliant. Hopefully I'll get my room ready for a bit of home done stencilling in that time.
Well, time for some beauty sleep, so I'll update you soon after my exam.
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24 Seconds of Fame

I've been waiting for ages to post this on The Daily Dissonance! It's taken me a while because I'm what I like to call technologically crippled. I'm learning. Slowly, but learning all the same.

Anyway, this video is of my friend, Cushen, who went all out this year to go to DefQon.
From what he's told me, DefQon is a massive rave festival that goes all over the place, and the one on currently is near Amsterdam.
Each year, they hold a competition: The person who publicises the DefQon logo the most wins two plane tickets, accommodation and entry to the rave for the week.

Cushen decided that he'd go mental with his attempt, and it paid off! For all of those who went to see the "Dreamtime at the G" match between Richmond and Essondon they would have seen something like this: A short guy running across the M.C.G. with his pants around his ankles, a cape with the DefQon logo painted on it and a red elephant g-string ("It's cool! You put your JUNK in the TRUNK!"). And here's the footage of him making a fool of himself.



Brilliant! I met up with him at e:55 later that night and he was so psyched about it.
Anyway, he did win the competition and he's currently over in Amsterdam enjoying some of his much love hardstyle. He should be back in the next couple of days and I'll see if I can get him to do a post about the streak and the trip.

The only problems with his streaking at the MCG (Melbourne Cricket Ground for all you people who aren't up on Aussie lingo) is that he has to go to court for interupting a public event, pay a $6, 000 fine and may be put on the sex offenders list. Damn...
Much respect and love to the little man. I hope he's having a good ol' time over in Amsterdam.

So that's all for me tonight, as I have to have a decent sleep so I can go job hunting (and not look like a member the living dead) in the morning and study for my Psychology exam.
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Update: Stalker

I've decided to give you updates of some of the things that amuse me from day to day and for those who decided not to read the title OR can't put two and two together, this one is an update on L.

Out of the blue at 10:32 p.m.: "Take care of yourself, bud. It might not be much, but I'm here and I'm thinking of you. (smiley face) Love you millions."*


* Note: all information from L is not edited in any way except for correcting as many grammatical errors that my little brain can handle.

It Will Never End.

"It will never end"

Well, it was a bit strange to wake up with that scrawled across my wrist this morning. I'd forgotten my friends sister had taken 5 minutes to write it on my arm. Maegen is 15, and I'm not entirely sure about how to spell her name, and I'm assuming that it was an attempt to be profound. Either that or she's a clairvoyant and she successfully predicted one of three things:

a) I'm going to continue to freeze my ass off for as long as I live.
b) I'll be chasing after people out of reach.
c) She'll never falter in her attempts to impress others through profoundness.

It did achieve what it was meant to, though. It made me think about her, but it also got me thinking about all sorts of things. You'll find I have a habit of letting my mind run away from what I should be focussing on and taking it's own path, finding questions to dwell upon until they bug me enough to find some kind of an answer, or at least an opinion on the matter.

But when I found Maegen's graffiti I was listening to the Hilltop Hoods song, Breathe, and I was caught on one line for at least half an hour!
"A man's success ain't measured by the depths of his pocket."

Will we ever get to a point as a culture or civilisation to actually take the grand "if you don't have this you don't have anything" emphasis off wealth and fortune and finally put the spotlight on knowledge and experience? Probably not in this lifetime.
There's a movie called "Idiocracy" that shows my way of thinking about this. It's a terrible movie with poor acting and all, but this is where we're heading at the moment.
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It's No Longer the Blind Leading the Blind

Wow, enlightenment! I just had a brilliant moment coming home on the train. I had a conversation with a guy called Terence about an umbrella, where he worked and all sorts of stuff.
I was sitting at the train station and there was a big black umbrella on the seat next to me when the train coming the other way came up to the platform. On old guy, around 60, came off the train, saw the umbrella and acted out in a very animated way "That's my umbrella. Thank you!"
From that point, I realised that he was deaf, because I have a few deaf friends. We had a simple, conversation about how much his umbrella cost ($50) and how I should "keep it quiet, so my wife won't hear" (she's deaf too)!
Once I couldn't under the more complex parts of the conversation he pulled out his phone and we talked via text and I found that he teaches Auslan, an Australian sign language at a TAFE not too far from my house and all sorts of stuff and he's a nice guy as well! I told him about my friend who lives up in Cairns, who wants to come down and be an Auslan interperetor for primary schools and the like, and how I wanted to learn Auslan and he gave me a card for a short course to learn Auslan.

The point is not just that I had a conversation with such a nice guy. The point is that a lot of the stuff I've been learning at uni has started to make sense!
Especially sociology. They said something along the lines of "society and culture are viewed through the lens of language". That's entirely true and there are a few examples of it, like eskimo's having around 20 words for snow and me only being able to think of about 4 that I've ever heard, and some languages have multiple words for different colours or the word love and others still have "his" and "hers" words for objects without a gender (like computers).
But it's more interesting still to figure out how not being able to hear a language effects your concept of a language and how you communicate with those who can hear it. I mean, Terence was exceptional at conveying the meaning of what he wanted to get across and I could communicate with him. It's bloody brilliant!

I wonder what it'd be like to live without something that everyone takes for granted. Have anyone really experienced something like that? I mean, sure, when I broke a bone in my hand, it sucked because I couldn't use my right hand, but what if it was my sight? Or what if my hand had to be amputated (I know it's a little extreme for a busted bone, but I'm sure it's happened somewhere)?
But something like that could happen in the most obscure of situations. When my dad was half my age he was at scouts and one of the kids there was blinded by a potato! A bloody potato!

So, my pseudo-philosophic comment for tonight: Maybe we should all stop complaining about what's going wrong with our lives and actually appreciate what we have and what we have the ability to experience. Just maybe. But I doubt it. It's just too easy to complain about trivial and pointless crap.
Get real, kids, because someone else has always got it worse than you.

My First Firsts

Well this seems like it is actually turning into something 'daily', isn't it? Well enjoy it while it lasts, my phantom readers, as I doubt it shall last at this frequency for much longer.
Talking about frequencies: I had my Statistics and Research Methods exam today. What a waste of time that was! I spent 90 minutes wondering what formula to use for the hypothesis... That may be an exaggeration but, as those unfortunate enough to go through some kind of schooling with me, I loath most forms of mathematics as it's all boring and repetitive (I can imagine my friend Kelly having a go at me for that statement. Bloody accountants in training!)

I've got a Sociology exam tomorrow at 2 p.m. so I should be studying for a little longer, but I had a really strong urge to splurge.
So, what was I going on about in my last blog? Right, creepy stalker women. Quite an experience if I do say so myself. Try it out if you get the chance, especially when you're young because it'll scar you for life.

Emma led me to my first actual exposure to sex, which is quite unfortunate really.
It was a night of firsts for me: first time drunk, first time I had proper social contact with some strange people and the first time I was a wing-man!
I had way too much to drink for a skinny 14 year old with a few people, Emma included, and we got driven from one side of the suburb to the other because I couldn't even stand up properly. We crashed at Ryan's place because my parents didn't know I drank, and didn't so until I was 16, and going home in such a poor condition could have proved fatal for all involved!
I had a bed set up for me in the lounge room and, unbeknownst to me, Emma and Alex occupied the couch.
I don't know whether I passed out or fell asleep, but I do remember waking up to my first live sex experience: what looked like a pasty whale being humped by a gorilla.
Emma is quite large and Alex needs to learn the true meaning of a "back, sack and crack". I'm not sure if it was the excess amount of alcohol in my system of such a horrific sight that made me do it, but I also experienced another first that night: stumbling outside and vomiting horrendously into the gutter! Oh, how I miss being 14...

Tell me; do you have any firsts you would like to share? Any memorable or horrific ones like my own? Comment me and share your life experience across the blogosphere* with the rest of the technologically restless!

Well, Sol, this is from one racist Australian to another: adios, amigo!
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Why am I always the bait?

Alright, this might not be the Thursday after exams (I have Stats tomorrow, and I'm well and truly boned!), Sociology the day after and Psych the following week, but I got the best text ever from a friend at uni, who we shall name "L".

It reads as follows: "Do you think I'm a stalker sometimes?"
Brilliant! I have a girl who sends me a ridiculous amount of messages a day, whether I reply or not, has amazingly unpredictable mood swings and difficulty understanding the terms "clingy" and "obsessive".
I thought it was hilarious when she was trying endlessly to get into Al's pants and he wouldn't have a bar of it! She'd practically throw herself at him and he'd fob her off continuously. I made the dumb decision to comfort her when she was feeling down about her misfortunes with Al, and that's where the trouble started! First it was the endless talking and texting and then she'd send me pictures of herself (which I shouldn't post on this blog in case she manages to find them and hunt me down) and then the incessant "I miss you, Mikey" messages... For crying out loud; stop bugging me!
Today, she has sent me 10 messages, after I stopped replying. Oh, make that 11! Perfect timing, L.

So, the question for tonight's blog is: Is L a stalker? Please, start off what will hopefully be a successful and continuous poll! Anyone can use it, it's just like any other online poll you've done.

I guess I should tell you about my other stalker. Some lady called Emma who's a little older than I am, she followed the same stalker pattern as L, so I have a sneaking suspicion that they've been passing notes on some stalker forum.
She was going after the drummer in my little jam session group, and she had him for a while in some kind of sexual stranglehold, but when he got sick of her and moved on to another girl, she set her evil, carnivorous eyes on me. She moved a bit faster than L did, she moved straight to the "I love you" stage. there was a point where she'd call me to see if i was home and drive by my house and stuff.
I don't know if you've ever experienced something like that, but when your 17 and have a lady who's more than twice your weight who circles your house like a hawk screeching "I love you!" at random intervals, it's fucking scary!
She did all this weird stuff as well, which I think they actually have laws against (or should): I had a bit too much to drink at a party she was at and I crashed early, only to wake up with her touching me with her meat hook hands where only a few people (including myself and doctors) are allowed to touch!
I remember going to the bathroom to get away from her and staying there for 20 minutes hoping she'd fall asleep again.

Strangely, Emma exposed me to my first sexual experience, if somewhat accidentally... but that should hopefully appear in a post in the near future. Possibly when I get sick of studying for Psych.
Anyway, wish me luck for the trials of nerves of steel, pen and paper... I'll need it.
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Progress

Well as you can see from my erratic postings, this blog may not actually live up to it's name and actually qualify as daily! And unfortunately, my non-existent readers, not many people seem to be stumbling upon my blog, but, futile as it may seem, I shall blog on and hope that someone is actually out there.

As I said in my last blog, my mate David, the jolly Canadian, he's over in India teaching Tibetan refugees English. Isn't it amazing; an 18 year old kid going to another place and culture to help others? Shit, I wish I was doing something productive that didn't just involve being talked at while sitting in rows of horny teenagers. It's very difficult to listen when you're being felt up by the person next to you! Needless to say, I do enjoy my Statistics and Research Methods lectures.

As you might have guessed by now, I'm a uni student, and I really should be doing something productive at the moment because my first mid year exam is only two days away and I'm just tapping away relentlessly trying to gain an audience that will listen diligently to my posted ramblings. I've been attempting to delve into the twisted minds of the people around me for years, and people tend to open up to me for some reason, so I decided to find a profession that will get me paid for doing things I'm interested in. That is, become a psychologist. Or a counselor.
Either way I think it would be interesting to hear what goes on in a normal life.

I'm doing a double major in Psychology and Sociology (the studies of the brain/individuals and society respectively) which apparently go well together. I don't care, really, as long as it's interesting.

Anyway kids, I really gotta get back to work and make some progress... if you could call it that. I'll get back to you on Thursday night after my Sociology Exam.
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