My First Firsts

Well this seems like it is actually turning into something 'daily', isn't it? Well enjoy it while it lasts, my phantom readers, as I doubt it shall last at this frequency for much longer.
Talking about frequencies: I had my Statistics and Research Methods exam today. What a waste of time that was! I spent 90 minutes wondering what formula to use for the hypothesis... That may be an exaggeration but, as those unfortunate enough to go through some kind of schooling with me, I loath most forms of mathematics as it's all boring and repetitive (I can imagine my friend Kelly having a go at me for that statement. Bloody accountants in training!)

I've got a Sociology exam tomorrow at 2 p.m. so I should be studying for a little longer, but I had a really strong urge to splurge.
So, what was I going on about in my last blog? Right, creepy stalker women. Quite an experience if I do say so myself. Try it out if you get the chance, especially when you're young because it'll scar you for life.

Emma led me to my first actual exposure to sex, which is quite unfortunate really.
It was a night of firsts for me: first time drunk, first time I had proper social contact with some strange people and the first time I was a wing-man!
I had way too much to drink for a skinny 14 year old with a few people, Emma included, and we got driven from one side of the suburb to the other because I couldn't even stand up properly. We crashed at Ryan's place because my parents didn't know I drank, and didn't so until I was 16, and going home in such a poor condition could have proved fatal for all involved!
I had a bed set up for me in the lounge room and, unbeknownst to me, Emma and Alex occupied the couch.
I don't know whether I passed out or fell asleep, but I do remember waking up to my first live sex experience: what looked like a pasty whale being humped by a gorilla.
Emma is quite large and Alex needs to learn the true meaning of a "back, sack and crack". I'm not sure if it was the excess amount of alcohol in my system of such a horrific sight that made me do it, but I also experienced another first that night: stumbling outside and vomiting horrendously into the gutter! Oh, how I miss being 14...

Tell me; do you have any firsts you would like to share? Any memorable or horrific ones like my own? Comment me and share your life experience across the blogosphere* with the rest of the technologically restless!

Well, Sol, this is from one racist Australian to another: adios, amigo!
Blogs away!